The unexpected visit from my buddy, Dinh, Monday has made me feel the need to solidify my theory on penguins and antelopes. I wish she could’ve passed through Phoenix on happier terms, but I’ll just say we both needed a drink. So, on the second round of ginger margaritas when the married friend turns the conversation to why are you still single, I mentioned that I am a penguin. Immediately I received the ubiquitous WTF. Here’s the theory. Everybody is divided into two groups: penguins and antelopes, technically there are antelopes/wildebeests. Most people are wildebeests. Wildebeests are plentiful, average looking, you really can’t tell one from another and that’s how they like it. They mate in seasons, fall in and out of love rather easily or painfully, mates get lost or change by mood, are shot by hunters or eaten by lions/hippos/gators, etc. In the end it doesn’t matter because the next season has potential for love yet again. Other Antelopes behave just like wildebeests but they’re prettier and therefore rare but not as rare as penguins. Penguins fall in love o
nce and fall hard. If a mate gets lost or drowned or hit by an iceberg that’s all she wrote. The surviving half of that penguin couple just goes off telling stories about his/her lost love until they go to penguin heaven. I am a penguin gosh darn it. That’s all.
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